Now that Thanksgiving is over, the Christmas shopping season is firing on all cylinders. According to a November Gallup poll, Americans expect to spend $714 on holiday gifts this year. Like everyone, I want to give great gifts to all of my friends. But I also don't want to break the budget.

So, here is a not-so-secret method for getting through the holidays without going over budget: the Secret Santa exchange.

If you have a large family, an office with a gift-giving culture, or a group of friends who are also friends with each other, a Secret Santa exchange is a lifesaver. It helps you bond with loved ones while sparing you the horror of thinking up appropriate and original gifts for relatives you only see once a year and an ever-bulging gift budget. Who doesn't want to enjoy the gifting process without buying individual gifts for each person on the list?

Even if you only have 20 people on your Christmas list, and a reasonable budget of $30 per person, that budget adds up to $600! No wonder holiday gift-giving takes up such a big chunk of our holiday budget. By drastically decreasing the number of gifts you'd have to shop for and buy, a Secret Santa gift exchange saves both time and money. After all, shouldn't the gift-giving process be a source of fun, not stress?

Follow these steps to make sure you have a smooth Secret Santa gift exchange:

1. Send out an email to a group of friends / relatives and see who would be interested in participating in a Secret Santa exchange. One person would have to organize the exchange and do the giver-recipient match-up. For best results, give a firm deadline for response -- you don't want to have a few stragglers ruin the exchange for everyone else.

2. Determine a level of spending that everyone would be comfortable with. Be thoughtful about the amount, if someone in the family is unemployed, or a friend just had her hours cut back at work, consider instituting lower caps. While in college, my friends and I capped the amount at $20. Now that we are young professionals, we might increase the amount to $30 or $40.

3. Pair up the Secret Santa givers and recipients. Every giver should have a different recipient.

4. Have everyone write down 3-4 gift categories that they'd like: makeup, earrings, DVDs, electronic accessories, books, etc. Circulate this email among the group. This is optional, but I always thought that a rule of "no-gift-cards" encourages people to be more creative.

5. Select a time and place for brunch or drinks, when everyone can find out the identity of their Secret Santas and exchange gifts! Snap lots of pictures for an online album.

6. And because this is a personal finance column... take the money you would've spent on individual gifts and earmark it towards Roth IRA. Remember, you have until April 15, 2011 to make contributions for 2010.

In the summer of 2008, I was shocked to discover that abortion rights was not a top issue for left-leaning people I knew who participated in an informal poll about what issues matter to them. My 100% anecdotal evidence was derived from a writing class in which I was enrolled. Comprised of 12 individuals - nine of whom were women, and 11 of whom were admitted liberals/progressives - we went around the room and named our top three issues in this election. Only one person said reproductive rights. Yes, that person was me.

Given the obstacles that many people must overcome to obtain and/or provide abortions, reproductive rights are always in my top three issues when I evaluate a candidate. In the past, I've explained that I usually find that candidates who are pro-choice tend to support a ranges of other issues that are important to me, such as the environment, fixing our social safety net by ending tax cuts for the wealthy and corporations, and expanding health care coverage. Thus I assume that other progressive women are like me, and they prioritize reproductive rights as an election issue. This year I might be on to something.

An article in the New York Times reports that Democrats are making legal abortion a big issue this year. Their opponents claim that attention to their anti-choice platforms (abortion should not even be available in the case of rape or incest) is a distraction from “real issues” (my quote marks, since I think self-autonomy is a real issue) and “simply an attempt to change the subject” (real quote from Ken Buck, the Republican candidate for Senate in Colorado. Buck continues, “The No. 1 issues are jobs and the economy.”

Right. Because having the ability to decide whether to bring a child to term has nothing to do with jobs or the economy. Obviously, pregnant women never develop complications that prevent them from working and supporting themselves or their families. Plus, high quality child care is affordable and available to all women who want it. Further, the jobs that are “created” by Republican “plans” pay well enough to raise tons of children well above the poverty line.

If only that were the case. It turns out that 1 in 5 women in the US are placed on bed rest at some point during their pregnancies, report Amie Newman at RH Reality Check. She asks some crucial questions:

How do pregnant women ordered on bed rest pay their bills if they can no longer work? For low-wage workers, living paycheck to paycheck, is bed rest even possible? Does family leave cover bed rest? If a woman has saved up vacation or sick days but uses them up during her period of bed rest, does she have any way to take leave post-birth and still have the guarantee of a comparable job to which to return afterwards? Are there other coverage options available?

The answers all indicate that pregnant women are pretty much financially screwed. So yes, abortion is 100% about jobs, economics, and the economy.

If a woman did decide to bring a pregnancy to term and needed to work to support the child, she’s also probably out of luck on finding high quality affordable child care, particularly if she is a low-income worker. The Mama Bee weighed in on the child care conundrum:

While caregivers in general make very little money and are often without benefits, childcare costs represent a large piece of family budgets. The National Association of Childcare Resource and Referral Agencies estimates that care represents roughly 15% of family budgets; they point out that infant care costs more in 43 states than tuition at a public college...

The irony of daycare is that, while it’s a cheaper and better solution for working families, it also is virtually inaccessible for large numbers of those same families. First, there just aren’t enough high-quality center-based programs, particularly for children under a year old. Second, most centers have set hours that may or may not match parents’ working hours. If a center runs from 8:00am to 5:30pm, for example, but a parent has to commute, it’s almost impossible (not to mention incredibly stressful) for that parent to be a pick-up on time.

Yep. Again, a woman’s legal right to decide when and if she carries a pregnancy to term is about the very issues that Buck and his colleagues deem important - jobs and the economy. I noticed that these candidates are not running to support welfare benefits or child care subsidies, though. (Nor affordable housing or a national health insurance plan that would help kids.)

Maybe, however, Republican policies will create such great jobs opportunities and fix the economy so that everyone can afford everything their children need? Unfortunately, the reality is that the result of Republican control for the last eight years is that child poverty is climbing, climbing, climbing. As Bridget Magnus from ShortWoman noted in September,

This week we learned that the poverty rate rose to a 15 year high, with a 51 year high in the number of people actually living in poverty, 3,800,000 more than last year, including just under 1 in every 5 children who contrary to what some people think have no control over their circumstances.

Much of this is due to the losses of jobs that Buck laments. However, the Republicans’ Contract On America (that's what I call it because it is a hit on most people) proposes policies that would cause the US to lose more jobs, so I’m not sure how this will help.

At any rate, it is obvious that the need for safe, legal abortion is linked closely to jobs and the economy, so if one thinks that those two issues are the number one issues, then abortion access is also a number one issue. Even if abortion had nothing to do with jobs and the economy, I doubt a woman who became pregnant through rape views her situation as a “distraction” to more important ones.

I've been on the internet longer than most of you, I would imagine. I got my first computer, a Radio Shack TRS-80, in the early 90's. I took classes in BASIC programming and then met and fell in love with the Apple IIe. My first experience with the Apple involved learning to use the arrow keys to move a rabbit around in a maze. I was hooked! Ever upgrading, I bought a IIe and then a IIc for home use, and the darned things came with a modem. My friend got her computer and modem at the same time as I did, and she placed her modem in a mayonnaise jar and sealed it up. She never used it.

I decided to give the modem a try, and voila, I was online! Apple maintained a nice little chat server called eWorld which was based in Cupertino, California. My first month on eWorld, I racked up a phone bill of $1100 and eWorld fees of $475. I had no idea that every single minute of chat cost me long distance fees. I did know that eWorld charged, but I was so addicted, it didn't matter. The second month on eWorld cost me $900 in phone bills and $325 in eWorld fees. I slacked off some to fend off irritation from my then-spouse.

So, what's a woman to do when she has been introduced to The World after living in the boondocks of PA for most of her life? I met people from all over the Earth: India, England, Ireland, and that magic place, Australia. The Aussies fascinated me. They were hilarious beyond belief: clever, funny, whacked out, bizarre -- a total hoot!

Ever a woman who believes that a way can be found, I discovered that people worked for the chat server and got FREE time on eWorld and also an 800 number to call in to hook on. These people were called "CCC's" for "Community Conference Crew." I set out on a quest to become a worker on the chat server and was "hired" to host for a couple of forums, notably the Education Forum and Transormations, a 12-Step Meetings Forum. Bingo! Free access! Yehawww!!

Enter one crazy Australian man who was "chatting" in a room called "Town Square." Actually, he was swinging from the chandelier in the middle of the room and tossing custard pies down onto the heads of the other chatters. Mind you, this was all done in chat. Crazy!! The same man invented a machine which he claimed was a combination grandfather clock and chicken de-sexer. He peddled this invention in various chat rooms.

Interestingly, this person was also spending beaucoup bucks on long distance and eWorld fees. He sought a position on eWorld as well and was hired by Transformations to host 12-Step meetings. We trained together and often hosted together, he from Sydney and I from western PA.

eWorld eventually morphed into a chat server called "Talk City." I was a CCC and so, eventually, was the Australian. We chatted for hours at a time, both on the 'net and on the phone whenever we could. By this time, I was newly single and he was single for all intents and purposes. In addition, I set upon a quest to become a CSA for Talk City. A CSA (Community Service Advisor) was really a "chat cop." The server advertised itself to be "clean and well lighted," so folks were hired to supervise chat, respond to complaints, and to remove people who refused to follow the rules. This was in 1996, by which time I had decided I needed to take a trip to Australia.

I had wanted to visit Australia for my entire lifetime. The animals fascinated me, and I had a pen pal from the Sydney area for over twenty years. I figured that it was now or never, so I bought a round trip ticket to go across the Pacific in July of 1997.

I must inject here that I hate to fly. I am amazed by flight and by airplanes, but the whole thing scares the living hell out of me. It always has, and I imagine it always will. The flight from here to Sydney involves 5 hours to California and then 14 and a half hours to Sydney, nonstop. It was grueling, to say the least. As we got close to the Australian continent, it became daylight. The pilot told us we were early into Sydney and would not be able to land until after 6 AM Sydney time. He took us on a little tour up the coast and pointed out some sights.

We finally landed, and it took an hour to get through customs. They employed sniffer dogs to make sure nobody brought in agricultural products. They wanted to know where I planned to stay and who I knew in Australia. Finally, I was through customs and put my luggage on a cart. I pushed my cart out into the lobby of the airport.

He was standing there, wearing jeans and a leather bomber jacket. I ran into his arms, and it has been darned near perfect ever since. I stayed in Australia for six weeks and then came home because I had to start to teach. I brought the Sydney flu home with me on the plane and missed the entire first week of school due to illness.

At Christmas time, he flew over for two months. He was working on a degree at Macquarie University and went back to Australia to finish the degree. It was the longest six months of my life. In August of 1999, he returned to the US, and we were married on September 11, 1999.

There is a lot more to this story, notably that my husband is now an Episcopal.priest. When he came here to the US, although raised in the Anglican tradition, he had not been to church in over twenty years. One Sunday he decided to accompany me to the Episcopal Church, and the rest is history. After five years of work and study, he was ordained to the diaconate and then to the priesthood. God certainly works in mysterious and convoluted ways!

There is a great deal more to this story, of course, but for the sake of brevity, I will leave it until a later time. May you be so fortunage as to find that one person in the world who is your soul mate. It is the greatest gift of my lifetime.

1. Mariah Carey - All I Want For Christmas Is You Lyrics
2. Mariah Carey - Auld Lang Syne Lyrics
3. Mariah Carey - Charlie Brown Christmas Lyrics
4. Mariah Carey - Christmas Time Is In The Air Again Lyrics
5. Mariah Carey - Here Comes Santa Claus Lyrics
6. Mariah Carey - O Come All Ye Faithful Lyrics
7. Mariah Carey - O Holy Night Lyrics
8. Mariah Carey - O Little Town of Bethlehem Lyrics
9. Mariah Carey - Oh Santa! Lyrics
10. Mariah Carey - One Child Lyrics
11. Mariah Carey - Santa Claus is Coming to Town Lyrics
12. Mariah Carey - The First Noel Lyrics
13. Mariah Carey - When Christmas Comes Lyrics

Example Sayings:

1. May the closeness of friends, the comfort of home, and the unity of our nation, renew your spirits this holiday season.
2. Merry Christmas May God bless you richly throughout this holiday season.
3. Peace On Earth and best wishes throughout the New Year
4. May the Good Lord fulfill you with His promises and bestow on you His many blessings
5. To a joyful present and a well remembered past. Best wishes for Happy Holidays and a magnificent New Year.
6. May the Holiday Season bring only happiness and joy to you and your loved ones
7. May the Joy and Peace of Christmas be with you now and throughout the new year
8. May the peace and joy of the holiday season be with you throughout the coming year
9. May you have the gift of faith, the blessing of hope and the peace of His love at Christmas and always
10. Merry Christmas and all the best in the New Year.
11. Merry Christmas and Best Wishes for a Happy New Year
12. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year
13. Peace On Earth
14. Season’s Greetings and best wishes for the New Year
15. There is no time more fitting to say "Thank You" and to wish you a Happy Holiday Season and a New Year of health, happiness and prosperity.
16. Christmas Greetings! Celebrate the reason for the season.
17. Greetings of the Season and Best Wishes for the New Year
18. The gift of love. The gift of peace. The gift of happiness. May all these be yours at Christmas.
19. Best wishes for a happy and prosperous New Year
20. Let the spirit of love gently fill our hearts and homes. In this loveliest of seasons may you find many reasons for happiness.
21. May Peace be your gift at Christmas and your blessing all year through!
22. May peace, love and prosperity follow you always.
23. May the Blessings of Christmas be with you today and always.
24. To wish you the special gifts of this holiday season - Peace, Joy and Lasting Happiness.
25. Warmest thoughts and best wishes for a wonderful Holiday and a Happy New Year.
26. Holiday Greetings and Best Wishes for a New Year of Happiness in a world of peace.
27. Holiday Greetings!. . . celebrate each day.

Christmas or Christmas Day is a holiday observed generally on December 25 to commemorate the birth of Jesus, the central figure of Christianity. The date is not known to be the actual birthday of Jesus, and may have initially been chosen to correspond with either the day exactly nine months after some early Christians believed Jesus had been conceived, the date of the winter solstice on the ancient Roman calendar, or one of various ancient winter festivals. Christmas is central to the Christmas and holiday season, and in Christianity marks the beginning of the larger season of Christmastide, which lasts twelve days.



Although nominally a Christian holiday, Christmas is also widely celebrated by many non-Christians, and many of its popular celebratory customs have pre-Christian or secular themes and origins. Popular modern customs of the holiday include gift-giving, music, an exchange of greeting cards, church celebrations, a special meal, and the display of various decorations; including Christmas trees, lights, garlands, mistletoe, nativity scenes, and holly. In addition, several similar mythological figures, known as Saint Nicholas, Father Christmas and Santa Claus among other names, are associated with bringing gifts to children during the Christmas season.

Because gift-giving and many other aspects of the Christmas festival involve heightened economic activity among both Christians and non-Christians, the holiday has become a significant event and a key sales period for retailers and businesses. The economic impact of Christmas is a factor that has grown steadily over the past few centuries in many regions of the world.

Source theory : Wikipedia